Grognard.txt

Here's a neckbeardy, 'spergy post from RPG.net on the failures of modern role-playing games for not requiring a math degree to play.

Here's my $0.02; you may give back change if you like...

When I opened the PHB, I was a shocked by the content. The "meat" of most other RPGs that I have ever played seemed to be missing -- there were a whole bunch of colorful "power cards", but where were all the rules? Wanting to examine it in further detail, I bought the 3 book set.

"It's good/bad because it's old/new." is a logical fallacy that carries no weight with anybody who knows how to think. From that you'll understand why I'm not going to go into comparisons with other RPGs, other editions, or any of that. Everything must be judged on its own merits; and that's how I judged D&D 4th edition -- on its own merits.

I believe the reason D&D 4th edition doesn't "feel like D&D" is that D&D 4th edition doesn't feel like a Role-Playing Game. After reading the PHB and DMG cover to cover, I was left with two questions:

1. Where did all the rules go?

2. Is this how low we've sunk?

I'll expand upon the 2nd question first, and come back around for the 1st question. The second question was prompted by this from the Dungeon Master's Guide:

"Crossword puzzles include crisscross puzzles, where the goal is to fit all the words from a list into a provided grid of crossing lines, and fully crossed puzzles like you find in most newspapers. A crisscross can hide a message spelled out by shaded squares in the grid, while a fully crossed puzzle is better as an obstacle the characters must solve to get past." -- Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition, Dungeon Master's Guide, p.82

HARKEN YE TO THE CROSSWORD PUZZLE OF DOOM! THOU BRAVE ADVENTURERS MUST SOLVE IT, LEST THE ELDER EVIL GOD WEBSTER AWAKEN FROM HIS SLUMBER AND REMOVE ALL LANGUAGE FROM THE FREE PEOPLES OF Hackensack, New Jersey

Sorry, but D&D was never crossword puzzles; not even in the childish games I ran back in grade school where everybody had a magic sword +5, battles between characters happened more frequently than with monsters, and everybody had an astral-plane-rift-free guarantee bag of super-holding to hold all their bags of holding.

The only other game I've seen mention of a crossword puzzle was Cyberpunk 2020, and they only wanted you to use the pattern of black and white squares to create "computer dungeon" layouts for hackers. If I wanted to do a crossword puzzle, I probably would have been doing it, instead of reading that paragraph on p.82 of the DMG. So I really must ask: Is this how low we've sunk; the crossword puzzle of doom? D&D it ain't.

And, I promised to get back to the 1st question, "Where did all the rules go?"

My other impression of D&D 4th edition was that it was very "rules light". At first, I thought maybe I was showing my age. Maybe this new material was like the mental equivalent of eating corn; in one hole and out the other; and I simply couldn't digest it. So, I gave the books a second read.

What's missing? Specific (and sometimes even generic) rules to cover any non-combat situation. If you're on the battle grid, and you're using one of your power card attacks, you're well covered. However, some other situations that might come up in a role-playing game; such as:

Climbing, Digging, Hiking, Holding Your Breath (and Suffocation), Jumping, Lifting and Moving Things, Running, Swimming, Flying, Throwing, Catching, Influencing NPCs, Fright Checks, Mounted Combat, Flying Combat, Hit Locations, Striking At Weapons, Unarmed Combat, Starvation and Dehydration, Sleeping (and Missed Sleep), Acid, Cold, Falling, Fire, Seasickness, Aging ... not really covered in the depth you find in almost any other RPG, including any previous version of D&D.

For example, from the Player's Handbook this time:

"Sleeping and Waking Up

You need at least 6 hours of sleep every day to keep functioning at your best. If, at the end of an extended rest, you haven't slept at least 6 hours in the last 24, you gain no benefit from that extended rest.

When you're asleep, you're unconscious (see "Conditions," page 277). You wake up if you take damage or if you make a successful Perception check (with a -5 penalty) to hear sounds of danger. An ally can wake you up by shaking you (a standard action) or by shouting (a free action)." -- Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition, Player's Handbook, p.263

So basically D&D 4th edition "sleeping rules" boil down to: If you don't sleep 6 hours, you don't get your 1/day powers reset. (O BTW slp = uncnscs KTHXBYE)

COME ADVENTURERS TO MY LAIR. THOUGH I HAVE NOT SLEPT A MINUTE IN OVER THREE YEARS, FEAR NOT, I'VE USED NOT ONE OF MY DAILY POWERS. YOUR DEATHS WILL STILL BE VERY PAINFUL IF SHORT, As i ... ... ... zzz ... zzz ... zzz ... zzz

I mean, would it have been so hard to throw in a paragraph or table indicating an attribute, skill, or even combat penalty for not sleeping? Or indicate a skill check to make when trying to remain awake? (I mean, I've *never* heard of adventurers who need to post a watch around camp at night out in the wilderness or anything like that.)

Then again, maybe it's somewhere in the books and I just missed it. And I guess that's the most disturbing part; the real hunks of meat that make up the rules of most any RPG are scattered to the winds and surrounded by fluff. All signs point back to the "power cards" that dominate the chapter on character classes. Absolutely everything else is given second-rate treatment (if it's treated at all).

So, the reason it doesn't feel like D&D? It doesn't feel like an RPG. Not all RPGs were D&D, but D&D was always an RPG, until 4th edition. 4th edition doesn't suck compared to other editions, it just plain sucks. I forgive WotC for putting it out; they were probably too busy working on crossword puzzles to make a role playing game.