Grognard.txt

Here's a neckbeardy, 'spergy post from RPG.net on the failures of modern role-playing games for not requiring a math degree to play.

Here's my $0.02; you may give back change if you like...

When I opened the PHB, I was a shocked by the content. The "meat" of most other RPGs that I have ever played seemed to be missing -- there were a whole bunch of colorful "power cards", but where were all the rules? Wanting to examine it in further detail, I bought the 3 book set.

"It's good/bad because it's old/new." is a logical fallacy that carries no weight with anybody who knows how to think. From that you'll understand why I'm not going to go into comparisons with other RPGs, other editions, or any of that. Everything must be judged on its own merits; and that's how I judged D&D 4th edition -- on its own merits.

I believe the reason D&D 4th edition doesn't "feel like D&D" is that D&D 4th edition doesn't feel like a Role-Playing Game. After reading the PHB and DMG cover to cover, I was left with two questions:

1. Where did all the rules go?

2. Is this how low we've sunk?

I'll expand upon the 2nd question first, and come back around for the 1st question. The second question was prompted by this from the Dungeon Master's Guide:

"Crossword puzzles include crisscross puzzles, where the goal is to fit all the words from a list into a provided grid of crossing lines, and fully crossed puzzles like you find in most newspapers. A crisscross can hide a message spelled out by shaded squares in the grid, while a fully crossed puzzle is better as an obstacle the characters must solve to get past." -- Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition, Dungeon Master's Guide, p.82

HARKEN YE TO THE CROSSWORD PUZZLE OF DOOM! THOU BRAVE ADVENTURERS MUST SOLVE IT, LEST THE ELDER EVIL GOD WEBSTER AWAKEN FROM HIS SLUMBER AND REMOVE ALL LANGUAGE FROM THE FREE PEOPLES OF Hackensack, New Jersey

Sorry, but D&D was never crossword puzzles; not even in the childish games I ran back in grade school where everybody had a magic sword +5, battles between characters happened more frequently than with monsters, and everybody had an astral-plane-rift-free guarantee bag of super-holding to hold all their bags of holding.

The only other game I've seen mention of a crossword puzzle was Cyberpunk 2020, and they only wanted you to use the pattern of black and white squares to create "computer dungeon" layouts for hackers. If I wanted to do a crossword puzzle, I probably would have been doing it, instead of reading that paragraph on p.82 of the DMG. So I really must ask: Is this how low we've sunk; the crossword puzzle of doom? D&D it ain't.

And, I promised to get back to the 1st question, "Where did all the rules go?"

My other impression of D&D 4th edition was that it was very "rules light". At first, I thought maybe I was showing my age. Maybe this new material was like the mental equivalent of eating corn; in one hole and out the other; and I simply couldn't digest it. So, I gave the books a second read.

What's missing? Specific (and sometimes even generic) rules to cover any non-combat situation. If you're on the battle grid, and you're using one of your power card attacks, you're well covered. However, some other situations that might come up in a role-playing game; such as:

Climbing, Digging, Hiking, Holding Your Breath (and Suffocation), Jumping, Lifting and Moving Things, Running, Swimming, Flying, Throwing, Catching, Influencing NPCs, Fright Checks, Mounted Combat, Flying Combat, Hit Locations, Striking At Weapons, Unarmed Combat, Starvation and Dehydration, Sleeping (and Missed Sleep), Acid, Cold, Falling, Fire, Seasickness, Aging ... not really covered in the depth you find in almost any other RPG, including any previous version of D&D.

For example, from the Player's Handbook this time:

"Sleeping and Waking Up

You need at least 6 hours of sleep every day to keep functioning at your best. If, at the end of an extended rest, you haven't slept at least 6 hours in the last 24, you gain no benefit from that extended rest.

When you're asleep, you're unconscious (see "Conditions," page 277). You wake up if you take damage or if you make a successful Perception check (with a -5 penalty) to hear sounds of danger. An ally can wake you up by shaking you (a standard action) or by shouting (a free action)." -- Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition, Player's Handbook, p.263

So basically D&D 4th edition "sleeping rules" boil down to: If you don't sleep 6 hours, you don't get your 1/day powers reset. (O BTW slp = uncnscs KTHXBYE)

COME ADVENTURERS TO MY LAIR. THOUGH I HAVE NOT SLEPT A MINUTE IN OVER THREE YEARS, FEAR NOT, I'VE USED NOT ONE OF MY DAILY POWERS. YOUR DEATHS WILL STILL BE VERY PAINFUL IF SHORT, As i ... ... ... zzz ... zzz ... zzz ... zzz

I mean, would it have been so hard to throw in a paragraph or table indicating an attribute, skill, or even combat penalty for not sleeping? Or indicate a skill check to make when trying to remain awake? (I mean, I've *never* heard of adventurers who need to post a watch around camp at night out in the wilderness or anything like that.)

Then again, maybe it's somewhere in the books and I just missed it. And I guess that's the most disturbing part; the real hunks of meat that make up the rules of most any RPG are scattered to the winds and surrounded by fluff. All signs point back to the "power cards" that dominate the chapter on character classes. Absolutely everything else is given second-rate treatment (if it's treated at all).

So, the reason it doesn't feel like D&D? It doesn't feel like an RPG. Not all RPGs were D&D, but D&D was always an RPG, until 4th edition. 4th edition doesn't suck compared to other editions, it just plain sucks. I forgive WotC for putting it out; they were probably too busy working on crossword puzzles to make a role playing game.

Pick-up Games: Arcane Legions

After depressing political articles that were a bit TL;DR, I've come back to the point that we're here to talk about tabletop gaming and their many realms of adventure. Today I'll be looking at what I refer to as a "Pick-up Game", meaning that unlike a "Hobby Game" like Warhammer 40,000, Warmachine or Flames of War (all wargames have "war" in their title), these games can be picked up, played, and stored away until some later time, not requiring a large investment of money or time to collect and paint.
Today We'll be looking at Arcane Legions.

Wizkids was a company specializing in collectable miniatures games like Mageknight (my first introduction to mini's gaming), Heroclix, and Pirates of the Spanish Main. They had much success since if you can make trading cards playable, you can do the opposite with miniatures games. After they closed down, some of their designers went ahead to form the company Well's Expedition, and in stead of the innovation of their clicky base, have decided to do something more in line of Games Workshop's style. Behold their latest creation.

In the year 42BCE, a mysterious magical force was unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. The miasmic shockwave of pure otherworldly magic spread outward from a point somewhere in the middle east, and in a few short hours plunged the entire globe into chaos. In those terrible moments, human civilization changed forever.

Magic infused their very bones, manifested in their children, came unbidden to the fingertips of their women, and plagued their countryside in uncontrolled bursts of power. Ordinary beasts of the wilderness were turned by these bursts into fanciful creatures of legend. Entire tribes of humans from all corners of the world were altered by the flood of uncontrolled magic, changing before the very eyes of their friends and neighbors into elves, dwarves, orcs, trolls, centaurs, and even minotaurs. Creatures that normally existed between our reality and others were shunted into this one, leaving ghosts, faeries, and other magical creatures stranded in our world in ways they were never intended to be. Even remnants of the Old World, gods of the ancients and their ken, were awakened from their immortal slumber through this great cataclysm to trouble mankind once more.

The world had changed forever.

The year is now 37BCE and the middle-east sits at the center of a vast struggle to control humanity’s fate. Three powerful nations have harnessed the power unleashed by the day of chaos, and they struggle to claim dominance over the known world. Their arcane legions are now yours to control.

Arcane Legions is a collectible game where you control an army (roughly the size of one in a decent sized game ofWarhammer Fantasy) against your opponent in pitched battle, consisting of historical units like egyptian archers and SPAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAANS with mythical things like minotaurs and dragons. It's a pretty neat idea with a nifty mechanic for organizing your men into formations. where there positioning can affect the squad's outcome and performance. I'll copypaste something from BGG:

"Players each field "bases" of variable sizes (Sortie/small and Formation/large) with individual figures inserted into starting positions on the base. The goal is to control victory point areas and inflict losses on the opponent. Movement and battle resolution are conducted through a unique formation management mechanic that allows players to move figures around on the unit bases to increase either movement/melee/ranged combat at the cost of losing capabilities in the other areas.

Figures are highly detailed true 25mm made from PVC 105. Common figures are unpainted with colored tempo prints on banners and shields, while all the uncommon, rare and Commander figures (Booster Pack contents) are fully pre-painted. The game is designed to use both types. There are 9 different unpainted common figures for each faction and at least 20 different fully painted premium figures for each faction. If you buy a legion bundle of a faction you receive around 70 prepainted figures, whereas buying one of each army pack gets you about 54 unpainted figures."

Now as a pick-up game, it should be cheap right? Well:

"With more than 110 figures, the Starter Pack includes small armies for all three factions and enough formation bases, sortie bases and base cards for a complete two player game - all for $34.99

The Army Packs contain 40 common soldiers - $14.99

The Cavalry Packs contain 15 mounted figures - $14.99

The Booster Packs contain 5-10 (depending on the size) Leader / special figures and their associated base cards, plus five additional formation base cards for use with figures from the Army and Cavalry Packs - $11.99"

The final deal sealer is the incredibly campy set of videos explaining their game, like something you'd see out of a Command and Conquer FMV.

I'll probably picking up that starter set for a quick spin, and hope that this is all that and a bag of Sun Chips.